


Pick Me Up, Take Me Out

by firesandpixies



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Boys Being Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, they are so cute they hurt my soul, they went to space together come on, why are they not canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7610506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firesandpixies/pseuds/firesandpixies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karma annoys Nagisa with a multitude of cheesy pick-up lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick Me Up, Take Me Out

**Author's Note:**

> I recently finished Assassination Classroom and I feel like my life has been altered. I will never be the same. 
> 
> I came on AO3 to find that there are only 200 works of Karunagi and that is UNACCEPTABLE. Therefore, I decided to contribute to this fandom by writing a mandatory trashy pick-up line fic nobody wanted. It also has zero quality. 
> 
> _P.S: Though the real otp will always be Karasuma and Irina_

 

 

Nagisa has long gotten used to Karma’s constant teasing and sudden antics. So it does not shock him when Karma appears at his table during a class interval and asks, “Nagisa, are you religious?” 

Though he does not feel shocked, he is very much confused. “Um… not really—”

“Because you are the answer to all my prayers.”

Nagisa tilts his head and his brows furrow. “What are you talking about, Karma?”

The red haired boy only gives a self-satisfied laugh and says it’s nothing before walking off. Nagisa’s eyes follow his back till it disappears behind the classroom door. Nagisa shrugs, deciding that Karma was only being… well, Karma. 

 

 

As a warmup during PE, Karasuma-sensei has ordered the class to run three lap around the woods. It is a cloudy day, and Nagisa is enjoying the occasional cool breeze grazing past his face as he makes his second lap around the forest with practiced ease. He hears dried leaves and twigs crunching behind him before a head of red hair pops up beside him. 

“Hey, you’re getting better at this,” Karma remarks casually, slowing down his pace to match Nagisa’s. 

“I’m not the one already on my last round, Karma,” Nagisa counters, his ponytail swinging back and forth from the momentum. 

Karma grins, and it feels kind of predatory. “It must be all the practice you had running through my mind all the time.” 

Nagisa frowns at that but decides to ignore it in favour of saying the logical thing, “You should run on ahead. I’m slowing you down.” 

Instead of speeding up as advised, Karma does the opposite and jogs even slower. He falls behind Nagisa and says, “Nah, it’s alright. The view here is better.”

Nagisa whips around with a scandalised expression. “Karma! That is inappropriate!"

Karma gives a noncommittal shrugs and continues to ogle openly at the shorter boy’s butt. Nagisa sighs in response, figuring that there is no use trying to run away from him because Karma would probably catch up anyway. Nagisa finishes the three laps feeling a pair of eyes intensely staring at his behind.  

 

 

They are walking back to the campus after PE class when Karma says, “We should save water and shower together.”

Sugino, who happens to be walking beside Nagisa, side eyes Karma in a mixture of horror and awkwardness before brisk walking away with a blush spreading on his cheeks.  

“We don’t even have a shower room,” Nagisa replies flatly. 

“We could go to my house?” Karma suggests, smirking the way he does every time he finds something new to tease Nagisa about. 

The blue haired boy punches him in the shoulder and pointedly looks the other way. 

  

 

The terrible pick-up lines only get more frequent as the days go by, and most of their classmates have either heard one variation of it or another. While most of their friends either ignore the antic or roll their eyes at it, Rio being Karma’s partner-in-crime, of course does the opposite and gives encouraging hoots and whoops every time she hears them. 

“You are a good assassin but you are an even better thief for stealing my heart,” Karma leers.  

He rests a cheek on his palm as he stares at Nagisa with unwavering fondness and mischief, leaning across Nagisa’s table. He is seriously infringing on Nagisa’s personal space and the blue haired boy is subtly backing away (also partly because he sees Rio filming them from the corner of his eye and he is trying to get out of frame). 

“You could be a magician. When I look at you, everyone else disappears~” he coos. 

Nagisa slams his forehead on the table and wonders when it’s going to stop. 

 

 

( ** _It’s never going to stop,_** Nagisa concludes when he wakes up from his nap during break time and hears Karma saying, “You like sleeping? Me too! We could do it together sometime.”)

 

 

It’s Friday, which means that Karma has been exclusively speaking to Nagisa in pick-up lines for an entire week. Sugino has stopped blushing each time he hears a dirty pick-up line, Kayano has eventually developed an immunity to it, and even Rio has stopped filming every chance she gets. But Karma is still not stopping. 

“Why are you not stopping?” Nagisa moans in distress as the class make their way to the courtyard for PE. Isogai offers a sympathetic pat on his shoulder as he passes by. 

“Because it’s cute to see you blush,” Karma answers breezily. 

“But I didn’t blush,” Nagisa says. 

Karma crosses his arms behind his head. “Which is why I’m going to make you.” He flashes a victorious smirk. Nagisa ignores the stutter of his heart at that statement. 

For PE lesson today, Karasuma-sensei has grouped them in pairs for one-on-one close combat training. Nagisa is relieved to find that his partner is Isogai, and Karma has been positioned a couple meters away with Terasaka. 

“You don’t have to look that relieved,” Isogai laughs good-naturedly, getting into his starting stance. 

Nagisa readies himself as well, positioning his two fists in front of his chin. “Maybe you try hearing it for a week.” 

“No thank you,” Isogai dismisses the idea and begins to lunge at Nagisa. 

Nagisa is wrong to think that he would get some peace and quiet (well, as peaceful as engaging in a fight with your classmate can be) because when Isogai and him tumble to the ground in a heated grapple, he hears a familiar voice shout, “Did you hurt yourself?” 

Isogai has him pinned on the ground and no amount of wiggling and struggling seems to be helping. He throws all his energy into a last ditch effort to knock Isogai off of him but to no avail. With a tired sigh, he taps Isogai’s palm twice, signalling his defeat. His classmate disentangle himself immediately and offers Nagisa a hand. After getting back on his feet, he looks over to Karma, only to see him languidly sitting on Terasaka’s back while the delinquent wrestles under him, shouting curses angrily. 

“So did you hurt yourself?” Karma repeats. 

“I’m fine—”

“I mean when you fell from heaven.” 

Nagisa’s face falls and Karma chuckles in amusement. The red haired boy finally releases his classmate and begins to walk towards Nagisa with his signature predatory look. Nagisa briefly considers pulling Isogai to shield him or running away, but his own pride has him rooted to the ground. 

Karma is once again standing too close to Nagisa to be considered socially appropriate. “I cut my lip when I was fighting that barbarian just now,” he says, pointing to the corner of his lower lip.

_“I HEARD THAT,” Terasaka yells._

Karma continues without missing a beat. “Do you think you can kiss it better?” 

Karma is teasing as always, and he obviously expects Nagisa to give him a weird look or protest bashfully. Which is why Nagisa does none of those, but instead closes the remaining gap between them to seal that annoying mouth in a kiss. He closes his eyes, and misses the way Karma’s eyes practically pop out of their sockets when their lips meet and how half the class have stopped their combat to gape in utter shock. 

Nagisa pulls back a few moments later, slowly lifting his lids to look up at Karma expectantly. What he does not expect to see is Karma blushing so hard his entire face is in a brilliant shade of red. 

“W-why do you look so flustered! You were the one who told me to do it!” Nagisa stutters, feeling flustered at Karma being flustered. 

“I… I didn’t…” Karma presses his lips in a straight line before dropping his head to hide the unrelenting blush.  

At the sight of a shy and embarrassed Karma, Nagisa couldn’t help the giggles that escape him. Feeling a little vindictive, he leans over to whisper in Karma’s ear, “Hope you feel better, Karma.” 

He flashes a gentle smile and walks away to the sound of hoots and cheers, and an especially loud _“NAGISA SLAY IT”_ from Rio. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> They totally go to Karma's house to shower together at the end.


End file.
